ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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