just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
