Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so let's talk penis.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
