Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
