Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
