And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
