If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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