you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize