I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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