maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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