idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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