I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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