Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize