i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
