My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
