We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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