Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
