I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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