She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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