i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
