Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
