11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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