That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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