My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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