wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
