I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Randomize
