Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
