what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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