Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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