Me. At least after what I've been through.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
