you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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