We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize