69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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