just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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