You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is not my ceiling
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
