Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
