My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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