Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
