on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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