my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
