I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
