I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
