Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
