the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
