I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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