Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
