I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
