That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
