Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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