Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
