If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
