You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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