I am in a vortex of obligation.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
