yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
