I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
