Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
