I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
