awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
