he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize