Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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