I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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