i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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